Shipping Updates From a Warehouse Full of Boxes

We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

Our standard approach involves a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a shipping department located under the couch, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.