Announcing Our Loyalty Program (Treats Required)

Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a returns policy enforced by staring.

Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

If you take only one thing from this, take this: a shipping department located under the couch is not a bug. It is the product.

We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.