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Tag: shipping
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Announcing Our Loyalty Program (Treats Required)
Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a returns policy enforced by staring.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a shipping department located under the couch is not a bug. It is the product.
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.
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How We Choose Our Products (A Cat Sits On Them)
Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
Experts agree that a returns policy enforced by staring is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
The old guard prefers a loyalty program that pays in headbutts. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.