Customer Service Is Currently Napping

A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.